The Misadventures of Fuji Yuuta
by LadyJewel
Summary: or The Lonely, SelfProclaimed Orphan and the Quest for a New Home: Yuuta should have known when he returned home for Golden Week that his siblings were not sane... No major warnings as of yet, but it will have yaoi and numerous cameos. This is PoTCRACK!
1. Prologue: The SelfProclaimed Orphan

**The Misadventures of Fuji Yuuta**

**Or**

**The Lonely, Self-Proclaimed Orphan and the Quest for a New Home**

A Co-Write between **KitKitSouji** and **LadyJewel**

**Disclaimer: **Prince of Tennis is owned by Konomi Takeshi-sensei, Shonen Jump, TV Tokyo, and VIZ. My co-writer and I aren't intending to get any monetary gratification from this ficlet. We are, however, looking to make some PoTCRACK lovers happy, by giving them a good dose.

**LadyJewel's Note:** This story is CRACK. Yes, CRACK. This stemmed from too much Ramune, Pocky, and Japanese Gummy candy. So, if anyone wants to ask, this has no part in the manga _**or**_ anime storyline. This is just something to write because it is purely CRACK.

PoTCRACK is my anti-drug, and, no, that is not an oxymoron…

**

* * *

Prologue: The Self-Proclaimed Orphan** _

* * *

That is **it**!_ Fuji Yuuta thought with disgust. 

His older siblings had humiliated him many times before, but this was the final straw. He loved them, truly. He had tolerated being put into dresses and made-up when he was younger. He bore it all with a smile for them. Their praises and squeals of delight had been enough to override the humiliation.

So, yes, it _**had**_ been fine for them to pretend he was their doll. _**In kindergarten**_!

Fuji Yuuta was now a dashing second-year in Middle School, Saint Rudolph's, to be exact. It was an elite school with an exceptional tennis team. Saint Rudolph offered the perfect opportunity to be away from the direct influence of his genius, older brother, Fuji Shuusuke. The title 'Fuji Shuusuke's younger brother' was a difficult one to discard. His brother wasn't the 'tensai' of Seishun Gakuen's Tennis Team for nothing.

Well, anyway, back to business!

Needless to say, Yuuta was _**pissed**_!

His elder and only sister, Fuji Yumiko, held aloft… a dress.

Now, this was not just _**any**_ dress. The lace monstrosity was… a _**wedding dress**_. Low necked, be-ribboned, trained, and corseted.

His brother stood beside her. He tenderly held the long, trailing veil, which was fixed to a silver, rhinestone-accented crown. Resting on a chair beside him were a pair of white, flower-studded flats and a wig head. Poised on the wig head was an intricately plaited wig the same hue as the hair gracing Yuuta's head.

"What is _**this**_?" growled Yuuta, gesturing to the dress and accessories. "You'd better not be planning to put that on me!"

Yumiko giggled. "It's your wedding dress, Yuuta! How else would you be dressed when marrying Shuusuke?"

"Yes, Yuuta-koi," Shuusuke, known to most simply as 'Fuji', smirked. "Isn't your gown wonderful? I gave the measurements and design to the Sewing Club at Seishun. They were thrilled to be making my future bride's wedding gown."

"_**Aniki**_," Yuuta snarled, "I am _**not**_ your _**bride**_!"

Yumiko pouted and Shuusuke frowned.

"But, _**Yuuta**_, you wouldn't want to disappoint Shuusuke, would you? He's been planning this for _**so**_ long." She had the decency to look sheepish. "I also wanted to see how beautiful you would be in it."

Yuuta backed away warily, glaring at the smiling duo.

"I refuse! I'm not a _**girl**_!" He pinned a glare on Yumiko. "I'm not some dress-up doll, Onee-chan! Nor am I a child to practice make-up on!" He turned a 'Glare of Doom' at Shuusuke. "I'm not your _**bride**_, Aniki! I'm not going to wear that _**monstrosity**_! If you even try to force me into it, I will leave and _**never**_ come back!"

Yumiko perked up. "But, Yuuta, I made a p—"

"No amount of bribes will work," Yuuta rudely cut her off, "including raspberry pie!"

"Fine," both said dejectedly, pouting.

"We'll just have some of the raspberry pie and tea," Yumiko suggested, setting the dress across the back of the sofa reverently. "No sense in a pie going to waste."

She disappeared into the kitchen as Shuusuke placed the veil gently on top of the wig.

Yuuta sighed in relief, plopping onto the chair furthest away from the dress. He ran a hand through his hair, noting that he needed to cut it soon.

Shuusuke sat down opposite of him, and gave him a serious and saddened look.

Yuuta shivered. Shuusuke rarely opened his _**startlingly**_ blue eyes, except when annoyed or focused. "Aniki?"

"Why are you so set against me, Yuuta," his brother asked, folding his hands demurely in his lap. "Have I done something to make you hate me?"

"Aniki, your influence smothers me," Yuuta stated bluntly, looking at his hands. "Everything I try to do, you either interfere or have already done. You are the only one anyone knows! They don't _**know**_ me. I'm just your _**little brother**_, trying to follow in your footsteps. Aniki, I want to do things on my own! I don't hate you. I just can't stand the way you influence me and the things around me!"

"Yuuta…" Shuusuke sighed. "It wasn't my intention to do anything like that. I just wanted to help you succeed."

"Aniki!" Yuuta growled, jumping to his feet. "I don't need your _**help**_! I appreciated it when I was younger, but I don't need it now!"

"Yuuta," Shuusuke started.

"Here's the pie!" Yumiko entered the room with a try of pie and tea. She gently placed the tray on the coffee table, and grabbed a teacup for Yuuta.

Pouring him a proper amount, she requested, "Yuuta, please, sit down. It's rude to take tea while standing." She placed the teacup on the table before the still standing Yuuta.

Turning to Shuusuke, she smiled. "Shuu-kun, what would you like in your tea?"

Shuusuke pursed his lips. "Did you bring my pepper out?"

Yumiko looked at him in apology. "I'm so sorry. I forgot it in the kitchen. I'll go get it."

He waved it off. "No, you go ahead and sit down. I'll go and get it. After all, you did bake this lovely pie."

He disappeared through the kitchen door, leaving a flustered Yuuta and calm Yumiko.

Yumiko gave her youngest brother a glance before slicing the pie. "So, Yuuta, how has dorm life at Saint Rudolph's treating you? How is school? I never seem to hear much from you anymore."

Yuuta flushed and quickly sat. He fiddled with the teacup that was still sitting in its saucer. "There really isn't much to speak of. It's a boy's dorm so it's kinda messy. At school I'm average in classes. I'm average in tennis. Compared to the others on the tennis team, I'm kinda below their standards. That's why Mizuki-san is training me harder." He took a quick gulp of tea before accepting the slice of pie from his sister.

"I think you are selling yourself short, Yuuta," Yumiko stated, setting a slice of pie aside for Shuusuke. "I've seen your mock exam scores for high school. You're smart enough to get into all the schools you have on your list. You're a regular on your tennis team. You've been in the newspaper for your tennis match against that boy from Seishun Gakuen. From what Shuu-kun says, it was a feat in itself for you to last as long as you did against Echizen Ryoma-kun. You are far from 'average', Yuuta."

Yuuta gave his sister a small smile. "Thanks for believing in me, Onee-chan."

Yumiko gave a beaming smile. "Isn't that what big sisters are for?" Her smile turned sly. "Does that mean you'll try on your gown for me?"

Yuuta glared at her from the rim of his teacup. "No."

She pouted and shrugged. "It was worth a try?"

Shuusuke walked back in to the living room. "Did you convince him yet?"

Yumiko shook her head. "Nope. Sorry, Shuusuke."

Shuusuke sighed. "I'm sure you tried." He gave Yuuta a quick glance, before bending down to whisper into Yumiko's ear.

Yumiko giggled. "Of course I did, Shuusuke."

"Did what, Onee-chan," Yuuta inquired, taking the last bite of his slice of pie.

"Oh, Yuuta," Yumiko said, "Shuu-kun's just being silly." She paused, and grabbed a napkin. "You have pie on your face, silly! You really shouldn't eat it so quickly."

Yuuta reached for the napkin, but paused as his vision split. He pulled back, placing a hand on his forehead. His head felt like it was splitting in two.

"I don't think I feel too well," Yuuta stated woozily.

As his body listed to the side, he took comfort in the fact he had chosen the sofa and not his normal chair. The last thing he remembered were his siblings' faces.

They were grinning.

**

* * *

**

Yuuta awoke feeling warm and itchy.

Something kept tickling his face and the back of his neck.

He gave a soft groan. His entire body ached. It felt bone-weary, like he had run 100 laps around the tennis courts, done 100 push-ups, _**and**_ then finished with 100 curls.

"Shuu-kun," Yumiko's voice boomed in Yuuta's head, "I think your bride's waking up."

The flash of a camera stabbed into his head, causing him to flinch in pain.

_Aniki's using his good camera_, came a single, clear thought.

Yuuta's head was suddenly miraculously clear at that thought. Unfortunately, his body had not yet caught up with his mind.

"Just a few more shots." Yuuta could hear the eagerness and delight in his brother's voice. "He is in the sunlight perfectly now."

Yuuta growled. "Aniki!"

"Hush, Yuuta-koi," Shuusuke shushed him, laughing lightly. There were three more flashes, each more painful than the last. "There! All done."

Yuuta growled, again. He squinted his eyes open. "You did it anyway, didn't you?"

"How could we pass up such a perfect opportunity, Yuuta?" Yumiko's face wavered above his head. "Besides, you look absolutely wonderful!"

Yuuta struggled to pull himself into a proper sitting position. He still didn't have full use of his arms and legs. He managed to give his siblings a glare worthy of their family name.

"I warned you what I would do if you did this," he growled.

Shuusuke was reverently packing up his camera and chose to ignore his statement. He was humming happily to himself.

Yumiko was sipping tea. "Oh, Yuuta. We know you'd never leave. You love us too much."

Yuuta shoved himself to his feet and nearly tipped over. The gown was _**heavy**_. He yanked the wig off his head and threw it, along with the veil, to the floor.

"Do you never take me seriously?" Yuuta demanded of the two. "Am I only a toy to you?"

"Oh, Yuuta, stop being silly," Shuusuke said calmly grabbing the abused wig and veil from the floor. "Of course we take you seriously."

"Name one time and I'll stay," Yuuta compromised, knowing, even if his sister was a clairvoyant and his brother a genius, that they would never find a single moment.

He waited a moment longer. "Nothing? Well, I'll give you a bit more time while I pack."

He shuffled up the steps and practically ripped off the offensive gown when he was safely in his room. The shoes were kicked in the same direction as the dress.

Thankfully, his room was Spartan. Most of his things were still at the dorms, or packed neatly in boxes. He grabbed only necessities, stuffing them into the only available duffle bag he found. It proudly stated 'Seishun Gakuen Tennis Club: Seigaku' across the sides.

Sighing, he started downstairs. He paused in front of his brother and sister.

"Well?"

"Yuuta, you're not really leaving, are you," Shuusuke asked. His normally calm voice had an undertone of terror. "This is just a joke, right?"

"No, Aniki, it's not a joke," Yuuta stated. "So have you thought of anything?"

The two looked worried as they slowly replied, "No."

"I guess that I'm leaving then," Yuuta said calmly. "I know that I'm still going to be on the family registry, but I no longer consider myself to be a 'Fuji'. I'm an orphan now. You get the lovely task of informing Father and Mother why I no longer am home."

He bowed after slipping on his shoes.

"Thank you for having me. I, hopefully, will not see you again."

The door closed behind him with a soft thud.

Yumiko and Shuusuke stood, staring blankly at the door.

"What have we done?" Yumiko slid to her knees. "Shuusuke?"

"We'll get him back, Onee-san," Shuusuke stated, sounding stronger than he felt. "He won't be gone long."

**

* * *

LadyJewel's Note Part 2:** Some things to clear up. My model for Fuji Shuusuke is Kimeru, who played that role in a few of the Prince of Tennis Musicals. I write his name as "Shuusuke" but actually pronounce it "Syuusuke". Confusing? Yes, but it's one of my weird quirks. 

This is an ongoing story that I will continue writing, as there is not enough Yuuta fan fiction. He's my favorite character, although Ryoma and Momo immediately follow him.

Another thing is that, after the next chapter, a friend and I will be switching off by chapter.

There will be warnings, because I like yaoi, slash, and BL. No pairings have truly been decided, but it will have undertones and even some blatant statements.

Thank you for reading! Please review!


	2. The Orphan’s Stay at AkazawaBuchou's

**The Misadventures of Fuji Yuuta**

**Or**

**The Lonely, Self-Proclaimed Orphan and the Quest for a New Home**

A Co-Write between **KitKitSouji** and **LadyJewel**

**Disclaimer: **Prince of Tennis is owned by Konomi Takeshi-sensei, Shonen Jump, TV Tokyo, and VIZ. My co-writer and I aren't intending to get any monetary gratification from this ficlet.

**LadyJewel's Note:** I get to write this chapter and then KitKitSouji gets to write the next… We're switching off! Please, excuse the randomness (hopefully that's why you're here.) I hope to live up to everyone's high expectations! **bows** Thank you for those who even stopped to look at the fruits of my labor!

Here's your second helping of PoTCRACK! **cackles**

**

* * *

Chapter One: The Self-Proclaimed Orphan's Stay at Akazawa-Buchou's**

* * *

It was only four in the afternoon when Yuuta reached his desired destination. 

The house before him was well maintained, and fairly large. The tiny yard was neatly cut and the paving stones new. The garden box had flower buds popping out.

_Hopefully, Buchou won't turn me away, _Yuuta thought as he crossed to the door.

He dropped his duffel bag beside him and hesitantly pressed the doorbell.

The melancholy tune that played sounded reminiscent of something played on an organ. **_In a church._**

_Is that a harpsichord?_ Yuuta thought, honestly becoming more than a little worried. He knew everyone on his team was just a tad eccentric. It just never had hit home that his Buchou was **_weird_**.

"**_Yoshirou_**! Answer the **_goddamn_** door!" an angry feminine voice shrieked.

"Why don't **_you_**, you **_hag_**!" Yuuta winced at Akazawa-Buchou's indecency.

Yuuta reached down for his duffel, thinking, _Maybe I should go to Mizuki-san's._

"**_Yoshirou_**! I'm making your **_goddamn_** dinner! Answer the door, **_damnit_**!" the female voice yelled, again. Her scream was followed by the sound of something shattering.

"**_Alright_** already! I'll get the door," Akazawa's voice boomed from the other side of the door.

Yuuta was caught like a deer in headlights as Akazawa yanked the door open. His duffel was halfway up his arm.

"Fuji Yuuta?" Akazawa looked flabbergasted. He had not expected any of his teammates to show up on his doorstep at all during break. "What the **_Hell_** are you doing here?"

"Um, Akazawa-Buchou, can I stay here tonight?" Yuuta asked meekly, thinking that he did **_not_** want to make his Buchou fly off the handle. "I kinda don't want to be home tonight."

Akazawa shrugged. "Heh, sure." He leaned back inside the door. "Mom! I have a friend staying over the night!"

"Oh, that's wonderful, dear," the voice that had been yelling answered back sweetly. "Will they be eating with us?"

"Yeah."

A woman, just as tan as Akazawa, entered the entry hall. She held aloft a large mixing bowl and a wooden spoon. Her apron was dusted with flour.

"Welcome," she greeted Yuuta, smiling.

Yuuta blinked and quickly but politely bowed. "Sorry to intrude."

Akazawa smirked and smacked Yuuta on the back. "It's no problem. Anything to help a teammate."

"Yoshirou, may I speak with you a second in the kitchen," Akazawa-san asked. She smiled sweetly at Yuuta, before leaving the entryway.

Akazawa grinned back at Yuuta. "Yuuta, why don't you drop your stuff in my room? It's the second door on the right, if you go upstairs. Ignore my brother. He shouldn't even be here this week."

Nodding in confirmation, Yuuta knelt to untie his sneakers.

Akazawa left the entryway the same direction as his mother.

Yuuta neatly placed his sneakers to the side and slipped into a pair of guest slippers. He grabbed his duffel and started toward the stairs.

Halfway up the stairs, he heard, "Yoshirou, couldn't you have given me some warning? I could have made extra portions! God knows how much young boys eat!"

"Look, I'm sorry," Akazawa yelled. "I didn't know he was dropping by!"

"Tonight was just supposed to be family," Yuuta heard Akazawa-san whine. "It's not everyday that I have everyone home."

"I have no idea why you're getting so worked up over the fact that a friend is staying for the night," Akazawa growled.

As the fight between mother and son started, Yuuta decided he would make a strategic escape. As he carefully turned around, not an easy feat in the small stairwell, he heard a door click open upstairs.

He looked over his shoulder to see an older boy standing at the top of the stairs.

The malicious grin on the boy's face reminded him of Shuusuke's.

"Ah, are you the second-year that Yoshirou is always talking about? Kaneda, was it?"

"Uh… no, Kaneda-kun is a fellow teammate of mine, though," Yuuta answered warily. He slowly continued down the steps.

"Oh, no, I insist you stay, Kaneda-kun," Akazawa's older brother stated, following Yuuta down the steps. "You should know how much my brother is in love with you."

Yuuta glared at him. "Even if I was Kaneda-kun, it's not something you should be talking about. Besides, Buchou isn't like that."

Akazawa's brother gave him a smirk. "Are you so sure? Come. Let me show you his shrine."

Yuuta yelped as he was dragged up the stairs. He was pulled into the room Akazawa had stated was his. He was then pushed to stand in front of Akazawa's bed.

"Well, you want to see his shrine?"

Yuuta suddenly felt queasy. "Not **_extremely_**."

"Too bad."

The mattress was promptly pulled up. Underneath, arranged neatly, were pictures, newspaper articles, magazine articles, and even a shirt Kaneda stated had been misplaced.

It was, indeed, a shrine for Akazawa's obsession, Kaneda.

Standing in horrified disbelief, Yuuta lost his duffel.

Akazawa's older brother looked between the pictures and Yuuta. "Oh, my bad. You really **_aren't_** Kaneda."

Yuuta gulped, grabbed his duffel, and promptly ran out of the room.

Running down the stairs, he nearly flattened Akazawa.

"Sorry, Akazawa-Buchou, I promised to meet someone and nearly forgot." He bowed quickly to Akazawa-san, and replaced the slippers with his sneakers.

"I'm going! Forgive the intrusion! I'm sorry I couldn't stay!"

In his hurry, Yuuta nearly bowled over Akazawa's father. "Sorry!"

He disappeared down the street.

"What was that?" Akazawa's mother shrieked.

Akazawa shrugged in confusion. "I dunno. He's normally high strung and a bit odd, but never **_that_** crazy," Akazawa replied. "Onii-san?"

"I thought he was your Kaneda-kun," was the reply. "I showed him your shrine."

"**_I'm going to kill you!_**"

**

* * *

LadyJewel's Note Part 2:** I apologize for the chapter being so short. It's hard to write about a family don't know much about, or, rather, create them. I do so love Saint Rudy! They're all so idiotic! **huggles**

Individual 'thank you's will be done later, as I have a Co-Author! Thank you!

That being said, I hand the next chapter to KitKitSouji.

Please, read and review! Thank you!


	3. The Kaneda Household

**The Misadventures of Fuji Yuuta**

**Or**

**The Lonely, Self-Proclaimed Orphan and the Quest for a New Home**

**Author's Note:** Um… hello. I am **KitKitSouji**… I'm the co-author of this tale of growing up, love, and hardship… oh wait… ::looks at the story in front of her:: Oh… Ok… I am the co-author of this… THING… you are reading. I agreed to write this to get away from the angsty Hiyoshi-centric fics that I write. I usually write angst or crack. This is the latter. Please be gentle with me.

**Disclaimer:** I am not making any money. _**AT ALL**_, and that includes from this fic. Prince of Tennis is owned by Konomi Takeshi, Shonen Jump, Viz, TV Tokyo and Yonex (at least, that's what I believe). This is just for fun.

**

* * *

Chapter 2: The Kaneda Household**

* * *

By some ironic force of fate, the closest house to Akazawa-Buchou's was that of Yuuta's dorm mate, Kaneda Ichirou. Yuuta sighed heavily as he prepared an explanation as to why he was showing up on Kaneda's doorstep. His mind rose back up to the embarrassing ordeal at Akazawa's home and wondered if he could even look Kaneda in the face. He tried to shake the images of all the various Kaneda memorabilia out of his head as he rang the doorbell. 

The door opened to reveal a young boy, about nine years or so, who looked exactly like Kaneda.

"Um, Hi…is Ichirou home..?"

The boy stared at him for a second before slamming the door in Yuuta's face.

Startled, Yuuta stood there, completely dumbfounded. After a moment, the door reopened, Kaneda Ichirou standing there. Yuuta felt his face flare up involuntarily the second he saw his roommate's face.

"Sorry about my brother, Fuji-san… um… are you ok?" Kaneda asked, concerned.

"I-I'm fine!" Yuuta laughed. "Um, I know you're probably sick of me, being roommates and all, but do you think it's at all possible for me to stay here for the night?"

Kaneda smiled softly. "I don't see why it would be a problem…"

Kaneda led Yuuta into his home. Yuuta automatically noted how neat and organized the entire home was. Not one thing was out of place. While it seemed like the type of home Kaneda would come from, it was kind of creepy to see everything so organized and tidy. He followed Kaneda to a den where his classmate's parents were sitting. They were a plain looking pair. His mother seemed like the typical caring mother, and his father looked like the typical hard-working father.

"Mother, Father… Yuuta-kun here needs a place to stay for the night… can he stay here?"

Kaneda's mother smiled. "Of course, Ichirou, dear." Her smile sent chills up Yuuta's spine. Her eyes weren't smiling at all!

Kaneda's little brother entered the room, staring up blankly at Yuuta.

"Oh, Keita, this is my teammate, Fuji Yuuta. Introduce yourself, and apologize for being rude to him." Ichirou instructed.

The boy just continued to stare blankly at Yuuta.

"Keita, dear, apologize to Yuuta-kun."

The kid just stared and stared. It was starting to scare the daylights out of Yuuta.

"Keita… _**honey**_…" The matriarch of the Kaneda household started to grit her teeth.

And yet the kid just stood there, gawking as if Yuuta was a trapped animal in a zoo. He was starting to become nervous. The kid showed no fear in his mother's tone… yet Yuuta was scared shitless.

There was a moment of silence… and then it happened. Yuuta swore he heard something snap as Mrs. Kaneda stood up and started screaming. "KEITA! SAY YOU ARE SORRY _**RIGHT NOW**_ OR I _**SWEAR**_ YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT FOR A WEEK!!!"

Yuuta continued to wince even as she calmed herself back down. The young Kaneda smiled at Yuuta impishly. "Sorry, Fuji-san."

Ichirou looked slightly embarrassed, but he laughed it off as he led Yuuta to his bedroom. Yuuta was nervous to enter his friend's domain, fearing a matching shrine to the one their captain had under his mattress. He was relieved when he walked into a room that didn't look too different from the dorm they shared back at St. Rudolph's. The only difference was a few posters, one of a famous double's pair, and one of some pop singer who looked an awful lot like Akazawa-Buchou.

As Yuuta placed his duffle bag on Kaneda's floor, he noticed that Keita was staring at him from the doorway. He jumped a little, and nervously pulled his eyesight away from the younger boy. He could still feel the boy's glare on him even though he was trying to not think about it.

"I have to talk to my mom for a second, so just stay here."

When Yuuta turned to lock eyes with his tormentor he almost wanted to beg Kaneda to stay. But he was too proud to admit that he was scared of a little kid. When Kaneda was no where in sight, Keita entered the room silently. "Hey, Fuji-san… wanna see something cool?"

"You aren't going to show me the shrine to Akazawa-buchou that your brother has underneath his mattress… are you?" Yuuta asked in a squeaky voice.

The younger boy looked at Yuuta like he was a moron and pulled something out of his pocket. Yuuta cringed, thinking the boy might have a frog or something, but sighed in relief when it was just a normal tube of lipstick. In his moment of relief, he had no time to ask himself why the young boy had such an item and calmly accepted it when it was offered to him. Little kids liked to give people weird things… right?

Yuuta smiled at the boy who gave another impish grin and ran off to do whatever it is that little kids do when they finish creeping older people out. Yuuta looked at the cosmetic in his hand with interest. He noted the color written on the side of the tube. "Cherry Kiss," He stated to no one on particular. "Aneki wears this color when she goes out with rich guys…"

"Fuji-san… what are you doing?" Kaneda's voice floated to his ears. Yuuta jumped when he saw Kaneda and his mother standing in the doorway.

"Um… nothing…?" Yuuta answered unsurely. He noticed that their eyes rested on his hand. He looked down at the lipstick that rested in his palm, then back at the mother-son pair. He was five seconds away from explaining himself when he heard that snapping noise again.

"Just… _**WHAT**_… do you think you are doing with my _**LIPSTICK**_?" Mrs. Kaneda demanded through gritted teeth.

"Um… well… actually… it's very funny… it's just… Keita… he… you know, my Aneki wears this color when she's out playing rich guys… heh…"

This seems to be the most opportune time to mention that when Yuuta is scared or nervous, he has this lovely habit of saying just the right thing to make the situation worst.

"JUST WHAT _**ARE**_ YOU IMPLYING, YOUNG MAN? I HAVE THE _**DECENCY**_ TO ACCEPT YOU INTO OUR HOME AND YOU CALL ME A _**HUSSY**_??"

"Mother, I'm sure that's not what Fuji-san meant!" Kaneda pled. "Let him explain!"

"Alright…" She sighed. "Explain."

"You see… Keita-chan gave it to me. I just thought he was being a typical little kid," Yuuta laughed like a man with his life on the line. He handed the lipstick back to Mrs. Kaneda. "A-and I didn't mean to imply that you were a h-hussy… really… I know that you are a faithful wife…"

"And just _**HOW**_ do you know _**THAT**_? Are you implying that I'm not _**ATTRACTIVE**_ enough to cheat on my husband? That no _**RICH **_man would be attracted to _**ME**_?"

"Um… Mother…" Kaneda looked extremely uncomfortable.

Yuuta didn't know how to get himself out of this predicament. This woman was either crazy or guilty and Yuuta really didn't want be around long enough to find out.

"Um… maybe I should go…" Yuuta suggested nervously. He lifted his duffle bag onto his shoulder and hurried past the mother and son. "Sorry to bother you, Kaneda-san."

"Oh, so now you're just going to leave?"

"I'm very sorry!" Yuuta cried, hurrying down the hallway. His duffle bag swung quickly to his left, knocking down a vase mid-swing. Yuuta felt his heart leap from his body as the crash reverberated through the house.

"YUUTA-KUN! HOW _**DARE**_ YOU BREAK OUR PROPERTY!!!!"

Yuuta ran for his life, nearly falling down a flight of stair before tripping out the door. Keita was standing there, grinning from ear to ear. He helped Yuuta up and stuffed something into his hand. Before Yuuta had time to question it, he saw Mrs. Kaneda stomping down the stairs. He jumped and bolted out the door like a bat out of hell.

Keita stood there, waving. "Bye-Bye Yuuta-kun."

"Oh dear…" Mrs. Kaneda sighed. "I suppose I over-reacted a little… I'll go clean up that vase…"

"Keita…" Ichirou sighed. "Why did you do that…?"

"No reason… really… it was funny."

"You didn't show him the shrine under my mattress… did you?"

"Of course not, big bro!"

* * *

Yuuta caught the first bus he could… anything to get as far away from the Kaneda household as possible. As he sat down, he examined the object Keita had placed in his hand. 

A pair of lacy, purple panties.

He blushed profusely and stuffed them into his duffle bag before anyone on the bus saw them.

He was definitely _**NEVER**_ going back to the Kaneda's.

* * *

**A/N:** I apologize for the shortness. Kaneda is the sort of character that I love, but can't write. I promise my later chapters will be longer. 

Just incase you didn't know: Aneki- polite word for "Older Sister". (Aniki older brother)


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